.:Happy is a Yuppie word:.

There is always something that makes you happy. Being happy is what we as human always strive to be.The sad part is good things does end eventually. People buy things, look for love,makes friends just to be bit happier in their lives.It the constant circle in life.Lets admit it that we are always pretending to be happy because just dont want to feel sad.

Am I really happy now? Am I truthfully happy or pretending to be happy? Everyone has their happy moments, as for me I can never forget the happy moments I had.Sometimes we try to hard to be happy. We go for the best in life but sometimes best things arent the best for you.Even we have to settle with second best .Be happy.As things that are second bests can much better than best things in life.No, will be the answer to the above questions.Somehow, I am empty.I dont know what I want, what I need.Suddenly out of the blue I feel lost.Gosh! These random thoughts of whats going to happend the next year or the next few months crashes me into obilivion.What is keeping me to ponder on such thoughts? I really want to know! Seems like things are back to square one.Like how it was back in semester one.

I am hoping that God is not playing one of those nasty tricks on me again.Seems like nothing is working out for me.Its been more than 6 months and I still cannot get used to the life here.Some weekends can be so lonesome.I am created to be relational person.Communication is what I do best.My cup of tea.I love chat and talk.It just me.Did I make certain mistake that I could have avoided? Yes. Can I undo them? I dont know.I want a hint on why my Heavenly Father has given me this journey.At least I know what I expect and what goals to acheive.Imagine when your world turns to black and white.You only can enjoy the shades of black and white.That is what I am feeling.I never was caught up with these kinda of feelings even when I did not have much friends back in secondary school.Quote from Audrey W "I hate this feeling!!". Truly I do hate this feeling.However, what emotions am I feeling? Again , I dont know.

Seems like this journey is never ending.I am just waiting for something to happend.Sitting, waiting and wishing for something that can change my life here in Melbourne.What will it be ? How would it happend? Is a question that only God can answer.Somethings are just out of my reach for now. I wish I had a better chance in somethings.Too bad I settled for what I belive was the best for me.I would not say it was wrong.I just somehow made a mistake that made everything bitter.I cant be buying things all the time I will soon go broke.I cant look for love, I am just fearful of it.I cant look for friends as they have their own clique. This goes out to God.My God.Help me,show your way in my life.I dont want to waste my time here being emotional.I know there is more to this life.Show me the abundance of life like you always did.Help me.....

"Life on the track seems like there is no right turns."

Blurry D Posted At 2:31 PM

6 Comments:

Wow since when are everyone starting to be so emotional i wonder ? Well for me the words happy is that all my family member is healthy and we has shelter to stay has enough food to eat nothing bad happen to me and my family! thats called happy.. you can get happiness in many ways just is that you want a simple way or complicated ways

By  Lil Daydreamer~ Make The Impossible Possible, at 11:10 AM  

Hey... I tot of all these questions before u know... Coz I'm kinda emotional as well... Rite now I may not be totally happy but I'm grateful for things as they are now lah...

By  Unknown, at 11:19 PM  

Sometimes it is just so hard to be grateful.At the back of yur mind you know you should.At times you just let your feeling and emotions overcome what is in your head.

By  Blurry D, at 2:40 PM  

hey you

i never really left a comment here before but i felt that i should do so this time. I'm sorry it's been tough for you since coming to Melbourne! i suppose it's one of those days where u get all reflective and all the not-so-happy memories bog you down. but cheer up! know that your life journey has already been planned out in God's hands!Remember how happy you were when u found out that you managed to get to Monash in Melbourne? all the crazy jumping, shouting (and scaring yr neighbours) hahhaa! so yeah! God definitely has a bigger plan for you to be here, just that you can't see it now cuz you're in the midst of the process. i'm sure in the future when u look back at it in hindsight, you will understand His ways better.

In any case, you have my number.Call if you just wanna chat.Samore it's free so no excuse to not call. Or miss call, i've got an abundance of free minutes! and drop a line when you're in the city! we'll catch up over lunch/dinner/coffee!!

By  Anonymous, at 11:34 PM  

I really hate when u get the feeling that God's is playing one of His nasty tricks on u...
Don't i know it. :(

Anyway, be strong, buddy. I really don't know what to say to make u feel better but at least... i know how u feel.. somewhat... a bit.. a little.

By  Anonymous, at 5:36 PM  

Lydia:

Yea i know.Sometimes i reflect too much on what has happend and whats going to happpend.Everything is quite ok just for a litlle issue that is bogging me.I wll be ok thanks for your concerns.Sure do i will call you..

Vince T:

Yea it feels like He is playing some nasty tricks but, you and i know he isnt.I guess you know this feeling to well.

Perhaps, I had expectations.Big ones about coming here.I was quite wrong in many sense.However, really hope that things will change here and there, bit by bit. A lot has happen since I was here.Lydia is rite that life is a journey.He granting me a chance to come here is a blessing.Just that I cant see it.Hopefully, I will see it one day.One fine day...

By  Blurry D, at 6:04 PM  

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