Everything happend flash, one moment I was in tears walking towards the immgration.The next think I know I was walking with you on SouthBank in Melbourne.Then, I am home again for the summer holidays.
Home for 8 days , countless things happend.Just 8 days and it seemed like it was weeks.I lost you when I return home.Question is should I had ever return home? All in a nutshell. Things change and it can never be the same again.A big THANKS to people who there for me.You know who you are.
I got my results hours ago, I could never have been so happy in my life in Monash. 1 HD 2 D and 1 C . I could not ask for more. All praise goes to Him. It really shows that if I am faithful , He will always be faithful.In faith I belive the best is yet to come.
The year is drawing to an end, I just want to end it well.
In the midst of summer that was an invisble winter in me.....
.:All in a Dream:.
The past nights before I fall into slumber.I think about the past , present and future of this life of mine.Where am I heading? What am I doing? People around has been asking about why I am so emotional.The gang has commented that I have change into something they knew not.As if my lifeforce has been take away.Everyone has been telling me , I look green and pale.I am just trying to figure out this life.Everytime when I get my life sorted out.Somehow there will something that will rob it all away from me and I have to rebuild it up again.Through these years, I have grown tired of picking myself up again.Well aware that I am able to do so.However, I just dont bother anymore.
Seems like this life is a terrible dream.Smack me awake man! I have always dreamed of a life, simple and beautiful.It does not require the glittering gold and the shine of glamour.A comfortable life with finances that is able to support an upper class middle class life.A wife to love.Childrens that are adorable and drives me up the wall.Now thats a dream far of to future.Looking something closer, I dream to graduate in a years time. Work for a multinational firm that will give me a good pay and the essential exprience I need.Then 5-7 years down the road start a business.A vibrant business with lots of money to make.
Today at band practice , Dex forced everyone to share what going on in our love life.It was my turn and I just said S.A.D (Single And Desperate).Only kidding.Actual fact I am down because of my love life.Somehow things always turn ulgy.I never could picture a happy everlasting me together with that special someone.It just sucks big time.I always did dream of someone out there that could not just give me affection but also the support that I need.As behind every great man lies a great woman.I do dream of waking up in the early in the morning to make breakfast for her.Buy her flowers.Watching movies with her.Cook a scrumptious dinner for her on our aniversary.I find it more sweeter that way.Shower her with all the little things in life that I can give.Like giving her a massage to relive her of stress.Make her a warm cup of drink when her when her work drives her crazy.Provide her will all the support , hugs and kisses.Being on the giving end makes me feel good but I need to be on the receiving end.I dream that she would take care of me when i am ill, getting me medicine and fetching me a glass of warm water once in a while.Cook for me when I am not able to do so.Support me in the things that I love to like playing badminton.Go for jogs with me. Giving me random hugs and kisses.
All dreams for now, it is an era of silence for me at the moment.The best is yet to come, all I need is to belive in faith that everything I dream of will come to pass.Dreaming my new hobby...
.:Home Sweet Home?:.
Not as sweet after all, there is such drastic mixture of feelings till I want to go back to Melbourne.I am really sad about what has happend between you and me.I wish I am stonger to overcome it, I am just not that strong anymore.Whatever it is, all I want is you to be happy.If you have have a changd thought, feellings and affections.Please do tell me honestly.I'll be waiting fo as long as it takes.Just dont make me wait too long.
Nick and EG thanks for making the time for lunch and listening to my inner thoughts.You have been great pals and brothers to me.Nick stop wearing the same colour as me. Wonder why people ask us are we gay.Still you are my best buddy, brother from another mother.
This afternoon at 12.30 pm Malaysian time, I am going for a surgery that was plan months before.I am quite scared actually anything can happend.Just pray that I will be safe.Thanks in advance for the prayers.Hope I dont see heaven earlier.......
"Ai Wo Bie Zou "
.:Days go by in insecurity:.
Am I really worth it? Worthy of being loved and care for? Seriously what have I done to deserve what I am getting? Do people just love me for other reasons? I am just so sick and tired of you being undecisive , not focus in what you really need to do and being emotional over thing that does not really matter. If your friends get more attention than I do.I rather be your friend.It hurts so much that I cant bear it anymore. I am not as strong as I used to be.
You are all I want, all I need , my everything.I just need a glimpse of what you were. You have changed and I cant accept it.Am I no longer important? You said that I am extra special to you but dont feel that extra special treatment at all.It is always your friends.Why a I always part of a fool.What you are doing is a memory of a hurt I know.
Get your head straight , make a decision and focus on what really matters. You jump into something before you think twice and now you are slowly killing someone.You know that my door is always open come anytime you want, I will be waiting.
Lord, I surrender everything to you.All that I have all that I am.Guide me , My father in Heaven.Be there with me like you always did.I fall in to obilivion anymore, I want to be your arm and people that I love and care about.
.:An Inner Battle....:.
4 Matches , 21 point system , 4 opponents and more than 6 hours of gameplay.
Can I make it?
I am very unsure.
My thoughts are clouding my judgement.
Nostalgic, confused and dissapointed.
I need something to keep my mind straight and focus.
Power, speed and agility to win them all.
None to motivate me.
I shall not fall but rise against all that oppose me.
I miss my Marvelous 3....
I miss Aunty Ee Way....
I miss Nick Chewperman....
I miss my super hero couple, UltraMan and UltraWomen....
I miss American Man.Dude you owe me 4 shots of Tequila....
I miss the Big and little Woons....
I miss my Angels and Datuk Chu....I miss you too EG....
I miss Starlet Blue....
I miss Florence My Mama- San....
I miss Pre-U 4 Cell Group....
I miss Team Flare....Where is Peter?
I miss my Poo Machine....Chub Chub....
I miss the MOB squad - Godfather, Manic, Chance, Leto....
(Dont have a pic of you guy all together)
I miss CRV and BHUR....
I miss Bu 11 /9 ....
I miss Taman Tun Park....
I miss hiking at Bukit Gasing....
I miss 1 Utama,SP, Curve and Sungai Wang....
I miss all the mamaks in PJ...
I miss Sunway Campus....
Soon we all will reconcile, I cherish all the above....
Why do I create mistakes? I am just too clusmy with everything. I am never tactful with my words.My degress of assertiveness is not up to a level that people can appreciate.I cant seem to say things that are propper at the right time.Why is that so? I hurt people around me with words that I did not mean to say.I really did not mean it, but then when I try to explain my words I contradict myself.It hurts as I feel the guilt running through my veins.I can never explain what I really meant as the damage has been done.I can never comprehend why I ever said the things I say to people.Enough of justification, I need to change. Being tactful and assertive is as vital as my every heartbeat.Thinking twice before I open my stupid mouth is a more than just a requirement it is a must.
Time and again, I just hate feeling emotional over things I have done.I want things to be the the way it used to be , when time and space matter not.I dont want to fall again, cause I am tired of falling.The endless thoughts of my mistakes haunts me.I confess that I am not perfect.Broken inside as I do not want the past to merge into the masterpiece I am painting now.My thoughts are clouded with confusion.Will time tell another tale as I let is pass by.Is it me or is it world has become ruthless.Am I important? The edge is not 6 feet short but 6 feet long.I need an answer to define all that matters.Will catch me like before?
One thing remains, will destiny slip off my hands like fine sand.With broken wings I cant soar to the inner sanctum that keep me warm.A bad day, my blue skies have fade to shades of grey. As watch the waves wash against the shore.I ponder where will this head to.I dont want this to end.I dont to be lost in a maze when I put myself in the maze myself.Help me heal the wounds even if it was not your fault.Sew them up and bury it into the past for me.I just want the life that I read and dreamt of.Let me collide with the stars again............
.:A Momment With You.:.
Everyone has their moments.Moments that will stay, moments that will fade.We all to some extend make these so called moments in our lives.Some moments are meant to be left behind to allow new moments to come into our lives.As far as I know, I am never lucky.I choose not to believe that I am lucky at times.Rather I never really belived in myself in a lot of things.Time and again I fail.Fail to prove to the world that I am worthy of anything.I am constantly searching to remain in a sanctuary where I allow what I am really inside me to pour out.On so many occassion I never did find that secret place that I long for.The days passes by as my time in this world passes.Will I ever touch destiny? A question I ponder for eternity.It was once said that man goes through an evolution and not a revolution.To have a moment with you is filled with such a degree of complexity.
What if I choose to belive that I am that lucky? Will I cease it? A revelation, flings wide windows of oppourtunity.It was a prespective that held me back.A mindset that crippled me.Held me back to many things I should have grab hold of.A moment with you, was just more than a revelation.It was also a place where I felt different, I felt comfortable. A sanctuary where I can hide my sorrows and drown myself with the abundance of love.Showering me as pass my days in this world that never cease to take whats left of me.A hope that provides me the security,I know I will be safe.The warmest arms that unfreezee my frozen cold heart.All in just one moment. A moment with you is all that matters...
"People buy things, make friends , look for love just to be a bit happier in their lives"
.:Proton's Next Model:.
Concept cars they were meant to be a concept.A future dream in simple terms.So Proton, Malaysia's national car maufacturer concive their own concept car. I reckon the design are awesome.However, I feel that a lot of elemets of the car are rather similiar to the Proton Gen 2.
The interior has numerous similarities as the Proton Gen 2. A few distinct feature that looks similar would be the dashboard and steering wheel. Again Proton, has gave the whole interior plastic feel where everything will fall off in due time.I would have to give them some credit as some of the elements are very futuristics.
I dont know what APX stands for, maybe its the prototype name for the car.If you do realised one thing the rims are the same rims as the Proton Gen 2.I am now sure what is the size but I assume that would be a 15 or a 16 inch rims.
The car looks so long from the side. I looks like a station wagon rather than a sporty car.The only station wagon that really looks cool would be the Subaru Forester.This not a Subaru it is a Proton.
Man I love those exahust pipes they are cool.At least there is a cool thing about this car after all.Still from this angle the car give me an impression that it is a station wagon rather than a sports sedan or a hatchback.Thumbs up with the design of the back of the car, it think it looks brilliant.
You got to be serious!! There are no window frames on this car.That is something to look forward to.Plus there is an adequate boot space which would add value to the overall car value.I wonder how would Proton price this car. I hope that it is affordable.Not that I would buy one, but it would be good to know.
Overall from what I can see, the car is not too bad.However it is a concept car that Proton had concived.I am not sure will this car ever be on the market.Rumors says it will.Oh well we will just see about that.One last thing I would worry for Proton is their infamous quality control.I am not mocking them but merely give my opinions about the quality of their cars.I really hope that the quality contorol for this car will be a whole lot better.
tis apx looks a lil bit like an estima or a murano... doesnt look "futuristic" to me... hehehehehehe
Sabby!!! Where the hell have you been all this while??? Oh well proton tend to follow other cars design........
.:It has come to an end:.
Exams are over now.I am gald that it is over, after 2 torturous weeks.Gosh!! I am so thankful that finally I can breath again. Overall I think I did okay for the exams this time round hopefully I pass all my units and maybe get a few distinction in the process of hope.Thank all who was there for me and those who had prayed for me I am sure God answers prayers.
I cant wait to go home.I just miss home so much........
uh. dont u mean u miss home so much ;)
Opps hehe yea i miss home
.:Just for Laughs:.
I know most of you have your exams completed.I dont as I have one more to go.Stress is in the air but I have found some jokes that can cheer you guys up.
Man comes home , finds his wife with his friend in
bed . He shoots his friend and kills him.
Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL
A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"
What’s the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress
Husband asks, "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
Without Information Fighting Everytime
Wife replies," No, It means ,
With Idiot For Ever!!!"
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
and Panic is when both are pregnant.
Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one,
my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver
A woman asks man who is traveling with six children,
"Are all these kids yours??"
The man replies, " No, I work in a condom factory
and these are customer complaints".
A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference
between confident and confidential.
Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there is also my son, that's confidential!"
P/S: I got all these of the internet!! I dont have the time to make all these up...
LoL. Good ones... GOod luck for exam btw. Hugs.
My personal fave is the WIFE one!!!
lol. i like the stress, tension and panic.
Haha that one also one of my fave...babi that person dem stress....
War.War never changes.Date back to the ancicent civilzation till modern era war was a daily routine.Some say war is inevitable.However, the question is will war ever stop being a part of human history? Now thats a question for God to answer.
On the other hand, imagine if war had never broke out ever.Will we have what we have today or will we still be living in caves? It will be an endless debate whether war has a positive or a negative effect. War in the ancient days were seen as something that is noble. War in the modern era is a war of ideas and power.Religion is always an excuse to fight.The irony is that religion had never encourage wars.Humans are the only one to be blamed.War is an ulgy thing.It has never been a beautiful picture.Hence,devil is the artist.War will it ever end? Will there be a nuclear winter as people has forsee it to come to pass? Personally, I think no one wants be living in a nuclear fallout though some games makes it looks so cool.
War never changes.....
"War is inevitable, it consist of 14 shades of grey"
.:Did I Marry The Right Person ??:.
I am not getting married , just that I was found something really meaningful and would like to share with allof you.It may or may not apply to you , but it is good to have a read.I did not write this article someone else did.
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question
She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It
depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are
good that it's weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely
natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's
why it's called "falling" in love...
Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the
imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there;
doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become
a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it
happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think
about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the
right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the
love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for
their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the
most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship,
excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.
It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a
few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE
RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER
just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it
day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of love."
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes
WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things
you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there
are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise
program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are
predictable...you can "make" love.
Well there you have it.Love is just more than a feeling, more than just falling for it.It's a learning process like how life is all about.To me, the article is an intersting read. Have a nice weekend everyone.
Hey can I post this on my blog??
yea sure thing!
hie.. ur love perception had me thinking bout my own.. hmm.. i dun believe in forever love.. but i guess we can learn to love.. is that really possible?
but i do believe in responsibility.. if u have decided to commit in a marriage.. u have to stick to it..
It is possible. It is like you fall in love not to seek the how perfect each other is, but to find how imperfect each other is.Life is a learning journey, i believe that applies to a relationship too.You can learn to love. Love are not just word or feelings.It is actions and the heart.Buying lots of things for the other person will eventully mean nothing.Cook a meal for that special someone can mean the world for him.
All the best in you relationship..
Amen to ur last comment brother!!
I especially like this statement of urs - It is like you fall in love not to seek the how perfect each other is, but to find how imperfect each other is.
Oh well, Thank God for the things that i have been through or i will never get to say that and apply it in my life..
Cheers to you fun fun...