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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

.:Brighter Days:.


Things are brighter the past two days. I couldn't explain how positive I feel now. Still recovering but I know that I am much better off now. The past one week and a half was literally hell for me. On Sunday night after dinner I was still ranting to Sarah. Through her words and phrases I know she was pretty annoyed at me because I just can't stop ranting about the whole issue. However, the ever patient Sarah did not shoot me sky high. Rather she left me some thing to think of.

Sarah: Remember, you were all depressed when you found out that you application for transfer was rejected.

Me: I could not have forgotten about that, it is still fresh in my mind.

Sarah: Still, why you are so sad about when you got the transfer? You should be more than grateful that you are here!

I was speechless. I kept silent. It hit me right in the face. I never thought of things this way. Even before I was here, Sarah was telling me that she is afraid that she is not able to adapt to life here. I told her things would be alright it is not as bad as she thinks it would be. I should have told that to myself first. Before I slept on Sunday night, I prayed. All in all I was asking for strength. I was weary in many ways. On way or another I was reminded by this verse.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (New International Version)
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Tears were just streaming. I was just not reminded of this verse but also Easter. He took the nails and He went to the cross. I realised that I allow myself to drown in the negative environment. Never was grateful that I have actually good friends around me. Some how I choose to believe in something else. A part from that, I have been thinking for too much. Hence the thoughts negativity. All because of this I felt so insecure and alone. I know that God have given more that what I actually need. His is grace is overflowing. It me that choose not the see it the way God want me to see. I was blinded. I should be happy and grateful being here. I have made it this far and I don’t think I am in any state ready to give up. All in all I am better off now. Thanks to The Father above me and my friends near and far. You all have been a great blessing to me. Sorry that I was such an idiot to rant so much where there is nothing to rant about.

Easter is a around to corner. To my brothers and sister in Christ, let's not forget what He has done for us. Be reminded of his Love, Grace and Mercy. To all Monash people have a great Easter break.To the rest of you have a great week ahead. Cheers.

4 Comments:

Happy to hear that you're feeling better now...

It's true that sometimes we take things for granted... When things doesn't really go as we expected it, we forget to be grateful for the good things in life and tend to be very occupied by the negative situation...

Like you said, Easter is one good reminder for all of us...

God bless ^_^

By Blogger fun fun ^_^, at 11:02 AM  

I happy eaaster weekend to you too. I guess i just have to be positive all the time and make an effort in everything I do.

By Blogger BlurrY D, at 11:26 AM  

hey baby...the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side.....u were literally dying to go to australia and now ur complaining.......things always does not work out the way we thought it would be. i had a hard time adjusting to my new life...i can tell u that in a few months time....things will look up.....just give it some time. Just do not think so much about it.....focus on ur studies..ur there for a purpose. complete that purpose and move on with your life. muakz..

By Blogger Mischique, at 9:08 PM  

Think of all the beer there!
Hang in there, fren.

By Anonymous Vincent Tan, at 1:23 AM  

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Saturday, April 08, 2006

.:The Rant of the Century:.

Lying on my bed doing absolute nothing. It's been a hobby. A part from doing my assignment, studying, cleaning my house, cooking and doing grocery there is nothing else I can do here. There is nothing to download and I can't play DOTA because the bloody Mirc won't bloody connect. Heck!! What is going on?? I thought life here would be more interesting. Yes I learn a lot to be independent but there is something that is dearly missing here. FRIENDS. I don't think I have a friend here. A friend that is a male, a friend that can share some guys problems with. I don't mean I am horny or desperate for a guy. I am still very straight. I want someone that can click with me well and not annoy me. I have heck of guy acquaintances that piss the hell of out me. I know I am being fussy and all, too bad it just how I function as a human. What Kathleen said was quite true. Friends here are not as true and real as the ones back home. Felt like I was back in my high school days where I do most of the stuff alone.Watching a movie here is way too expensive so there are not movies day out. The peeps at Berwick it just so far from my place. Plus, that are so into themselves and they are all gals. I never could understand their conversations. All girls talk. Man this just so frustrating. There are one or two people here that I can talk to and hang out. I don't know why I am so emotionally caught by this issue. I mean it is something that I have to get a move along. Nothing seems to be helping at all. My housemates are nice people but they have each other and I don't want to be in the way (which already I am).Sigh!! Again did I make the right choice coming here? Looking back that the past 2 months. There were plenty of ups and downs. It fluctuates less here as life is much simpler here. I really am praying very hard for a group of friends that I can hang on with. A group of people I can trust and cherish. All in all I havent been very friendly here or maybe I have changed.

I still have many more months here. I hope things will get better. I know very well that I have been given a blessing and not a curse. Indeed that things should have settled down by now. I hope that it will not get worst next year as most of the people that I know are going back as their university years are over. Perhaps, like what Fiona said "Adrian, you are thinking too much!! Snap out of it or it will kill you!!!" I wish I can stop thinking for a moment. So much for an April fool joke, didn't really cheer me up.It made me worst (maybe it is also payback time i trick too many people). I wonder where did that cheerful, silly and lame Adrian went to. He is never to be found.On top of that, people are ranting to me about how moody they are and this and that, without realizing there people who are worst off. I am serious like what happened to a friend. Instead of being comforted I am being bombarded by people telling about their problem which adds to my emotional state. I don't blame them for being moody as a lot of people went through what I am going through or also going through. I am asking for a time off. I can't possibly help another person who has the similar problems with me.

Worst things can get worst!! Discrimination. Being the minority sucks. So what if I am yellow I am the same as the whites. Human in every way. I just can't see why they see me as weird. Dude!! I make love through sexual intercourse just like you white people. I don't do "Belahan- Dedua". On top of that, the weather here isn't helping at all. On one end it can freeze your balls, the other end it will disintegrate the first layer of your skin. Why have 4 seasons in a year when you can have it all in a day!!!!!!

3 Comments:

You are doing great here Pui Khong...don't let little things pull you down...You promised me everything would be great here so you must keep your promise made back in Msia...Remember that you will always have a friend in me. Cheers (^(00)^)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:15 PM  

Get a Hobby Adrian. Either than that, get involved in activities like church.

In all seriousness, it's going to be a very lonely time in Monash. My brother who studied there simply concurs 100% to that statement. Get involved in maybe Youth Church Campus.

Either than that, most people over there would just start playing World Of Warcraft. I can attest that some 80% of my friends in Australia end up playing WoW one way or another to pass the time.

Australia can be a great experience, or a boring one unless you get to fit it one way or another. Imo, join activities.

Like for me, when I go to Melbourne, I'll be joining my BJJ or my wrestling classes. :D

-John Wee-

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:42 PM  

Since you want me to comment...

Actually I prefer to tag on ppl's msg board, dun know why...

I haven't been to aus nor study overseas before, so I can't say much... Maybe somewhere down the road when it's my turn to be in aus I'll encounter the same prob like you... Dunno...

Always keep in touch with us yeah?? I hope that helps a bit..

By Blogger fun fun ^_^, at 11:41 AM  

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Friday, April 07, 2006

.:The First Wave:.

The first wave of assignments has passed!!!!There more to come after the Easter breakaway it is just so tiring man completing the heaps of assignment that Monash throws at you one after another.It just does not stop at all.Being a slave to assignments sucks!!! I want to thank people like Sarah, Mun tzin , Jia Ni , Vincent , Silva and Daffy for all the encouragement.To my housemates (Reagan and Suet Leng) thanks so much for cooking and buying food for me for the past week I really apreciate it very much.

I am so hooked on this band called VonRay.The lead singer looks like Chad Kroger (Nickleback).Anyways, this band is not that popular but I love their lyrics and the tune of their songs.They sound a bit like Goo Goo Dolls.I am still searching high and low for their album as I am unable to download it off the net.Sigh!!!


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