.:Did I Marry The Right Person ??:.
I am not getting married , just that I was found something really meaningful and would like to share with allof you.It may or may not apply to you , but it is good to have a read.I did not write this article someone else did.
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question
She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It
depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Let me answer this question because the chances are
good that it's weighing on your mind.
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
their idiosyncrasies.
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely
natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's
why it's called "falling" in love...
Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the
imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there;
doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become
a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it
happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive
you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think
about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the
initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the
right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the
love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for
their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the
most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship,
excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.
It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a
few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE
RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER
just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it
day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of love."
Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes
WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things
you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there
are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise
program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and
effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are
predictable...you can "make" love.
Well there you have it.Love is just more than a feeling, more than just falling for it.It's a learning process like how life is all about.To me, the article is an intersting read. Have a nice weekend everyone.
6 Comments:
Hey can I post this on my blog??
yea sure thing!
hie.. ur love perception had me thinking bout my own.. hmm.. i dun believe in forever love.. but i guess we can learn to love.. is that really possible?
but i do believe in responsibility.. if u have decided to commit in a marriage.. u have to stick to it..
It is possible. It is like you fall in love not to seek the how perfect each other is, but to find how imperfect each other is.Life is a learning journey, i believe that applies to a relationship too.You can learn to love. Love are not just word or feelings.It is actions and the heart.Buying lots of things for the other person will eventully mean nothing.Cook a meal for that special someone can mean the world for him.
All the best in you relationship..
Amen to ur last comment brother!!
I especially like this statement of urs - It is like you fall in love not to seek the how perfect each other is, but to find how imperfect each other is.
So true...
Oh well, Thank God for the things that i have been through or i will never get to say that and apply it in my life..
Cheers to you fun fun...
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