.:Turning Point:.
As you all know that I am going through a rough season.A season that I have never encounter before. I never felt so painful and bitter about myself and everything around me.Everything was just too sudden for me and I just cannot hold myself or my head up high.
Awaken by the noises of my sister preparing herself for the day, the first thing that came into my mind was her face.How lovely Ashley was and how much I miss her.I was reluctant to get out of bed on a Saturday morning. I had to go to work.Before anything ,I prayed.I teared.Then I walked into my sister's room.Planning on complaining that she has been a bit noise just now.As often as it is, I never find her in there.However something caught my blurry vision, some figure on the table. I walked closer to find lots of photos of her friends and montage of it.Looking at it for a mere seconds, I walk towards the window.Looking out, though there is nothing to see.I ask God "What is your will in my life?" Letting out a big sigh, I kicked a box that was stacked with a items which all fell in the floor.
Plies of Korean drama Dvds , anime comics and a bible was seen in the stacked up items.As I was clearing it, a familiar book caught my eyes. Immediately I know something is going to happened.It was a book written by Joshua Harris which titled "Boy Meets Girl". A sequel to his other book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". In which I had borrowed it to Ashley.The thing is this book was written in the year 2000.I have seen this book many times at the bookstore.Somehow or rather I never picked it up.Staring front page of the book, I asked "God, What do you mean? Say hello to courtship?" I am in a position of a separation and you want me to court?
Nevertheless, I still find it very peculiar. My sister hardly reads Christian books.Having said that, she never read one before.How did this book fell into her hands is a puzzling thought. Lying on my bed, I started to read the book.Since I never had the chance to read about it.Reading the pages things began to manifest in me.I was just merely 6 pages and tears were flowing.Reading through page 23, kneel on my keens and prayed.This is what Joshua Harris wrote in his book:
There in darkness I started to cry.I wasn't mad at Rachel, I wasn't bitter. I cried because I knew God was behind it all. He was the one who had closed the door on a relationship with Rachel and He'd done it for my good.I was overwhelmed by the thought that the God of the universe was willing to be involve in the details of my life - that He'd be willing to reach down and shut the door that He didn't want me to walk through. Still crying, I began to thank Him " I don't understand , but I thank You," I said."I don't understand but I know that You are good.I don't understand but I know You're taking this away because You have something better."
Praying the same prayer as Joshua did. I cried, I felt the joy and peace flowing in me.At that moment I knew it was the the turning point of a painful chapter in my life. I need to stop trusting in myself, and asked God to do his will in me.Thank you all who had comforted me and supported me.I know it has also been unpleasant on your side as some of you were so worried about me.Thank you again..
I miss you, but I have to be obedient to God.
9 Comments:
dear Adrian,
Hang in there!
the Lord's merciful and He has His plans for u jsut liek HE does for all of us.... do not beat urself up over anythign unpleasant that's happen to u but rather constantly thanking Him for each waking mornings.......
Hang in there my fren, do not ddread wakign up in the mornings findign urself in tears and pain and bein sorrowful that ther'e nothign u can do to overcome it, but look at it as a start of a brand new day and then U"ll open ur eys to find the many blessings along the way....... ok? remember, Life's blessed and beautiful.....i cant possibly put it into simpler terms........jsut Trust in Him thru the many ups n downs.....and its ok to tear but dun beat ursefl up, rmbr He hears ur prayer, so keep ur heads up ...
-RACH-
bigggggg hugggg adrian....
tho is difficult, but i'm sure you'll make it thru...
take careeee adrian! hugssss
Relax man. U told me everything happens for a reason. Its not gonna turn out fine right away but it takes time. Everyday is a new day and things can only turn better. I know u trust in your faith and God, but remember things also need us taking the step to do it. God will help but things aren't gonna magically happen without a reason so remember to trust yourself. The only person who'll always understand and bring yourself up apart from God is yourself
Thanks Rach and Su...its not easy but i am holding on..
Wei sin,
It is an irony rite? Haha man I miss ya..Thanks for the encouragement.. will keep that in mind...
Hey Adrian,
cheer up kays, we all know it's gonna be hard for u but there is more to life than the past. think positive! it's all in the state of the mind, if u think ur beaten, you are. Think and believe that you can make it through!
"what doesnt kill us only makes us stronger"
CORRECTION! they were JAPANESE dramas, and who says I've never read Christian books? You just never see me read them.. I guess I should apologize for being so noisy in the mornings huh? But at any rate, I think it was good that my friend lent me to the book. I was reluctant to read it cuz I thought it wasn't something for me, but he prompted me, saying that I'll need it. But I guess it was God's way of somehow helping you through this trying time. Its hard to go on, but like always I know you'll make it through cuz you're my big brother. Also, I remembered this line from cell, "If ever God says no, don't fret. But instead thank Him for it means that He has something greater in store for you." so cheer up, everyone is supporting you. =)
Thanks Penny for the encouraging words.
Sis,
Ooooopppssssssssssss
Thanks sis love ya.I already surrender everything in His mighty hands.
Thank you again......
I agree wif ur sis there. What doesnt kill u makes u stronger, juz give u a numb dead arm for about half hour but i still can beat the crap outta u wif it!!! erm..sorry... wei sin version of that phrase. Too juicy to pass by :)
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